Cutting breaks through my numbness, but only opens more wounds.
Depression, self-harm, bullying....that's my reality.
Sex and guys....that's my escape.
The space between the truth and lies is blurred leaving me torn, lost and confused. And while the monsters that live in my head try to beat me-- the two men that I love try to save me.
This is my story of friendship, heartache, and the grueling journey that is mental-illness.
Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
“They say monsters live under beds. They're wrong because our mind is where monsters truly reside.”
This is the story of Jessica Alexander. A high school student who lets guys use her body as they please and then gets bullied about that from the popular kids. Jessica is trying hard to feel some kind of love and connection from those around her , that's why she lets guys manipulate her. She's also cutting herself, because she believes that this is how she's having control of her own pain.
"Sex is my way of connecting, another way to feel something. I guess sex equals love for me since I have no idea what love really feels like. It’s my
version of love and it fills a void, so I continue the vicious cycle of sleeping with every guy I go out with."
"Their weapons aren’t illegal, yet they cut me deeper than a blade ever could. Hiding behind electronic shields, they use their words like swords. I wonder what’s worse—the invisible scars they leave or the visible scars I inflict upon myself?"
Jace is the only popular guy who doesn't treat her that way. Not only that, but he tries to defend her and get her back on her feet. He's becoming the only friend she ever had and since he was also her crush, she's getting attached to him. But Jace doesn't want to treat her like other guys were treating her, so he's offering to her his friendship and only.
“You’re worth more than you think.
You just have to believe that;
then everyone else will too.”
Their story takes an unexpected twist and because of certain circumstances they lose each other and the story moves forward several years later where they meet again.
New persons are in their lives now and things become messy once again. Kingsley is someone who waltzed into Jessica's life the most appropriate moment and their relationship took a turn that no one expected.
It's been a week since the day I finished reading this book. I still don't know how I feel about it. I still don't know what should be the most appropriate rating for this one. I don't think it's either 'you love it or hate it' kind of book. I believe this is far more complicated.
I was so mad at the characters of the book. I was so mad at the author of this book. This book was freaking intense and had me frustrated. I didn't support their movements. I didn't support their conversations or their actions. It got me emotional and I couldn't stand the pain that it caused me.
I don't want to say much, because this book shouldn't be spoiled. It has so many twists and turns and you get shell shocked every now and then. My own advise would be to turn the pages slowly because you really don't know when you'll be staring at the pages speechless. A powerful book addressing really intense issues. I'm sure this story is going to keep me troubled for a long while.
Thank you for the BR Alice!