The Consequence of Loving Colton (Consequence #1) by Rachel Van Dyken

My name is Milo Caro and I have a confession to make.

I’ve been in love with Colton Mathews since I was five. He should have known that sharing a cookie with a sugar obsessed little monster would do the trick–it sealed his fate. So really, the fact that he’s sporting a black eye, a limp, almost got ran over by a car, and was nearly responsible for another person’s death? Right. HIs fault. Not mine. 

I made a pact with myself–this weekend would be different. I’d come home for my brothers wedding, smile, and Colton would naturally melt into my arms, we’d get married have five kids, live in a house by the river, and get a dog named scratch (clearly I’ve thought this through).

What really happened? I punched my brother in the face, Colton kissed me and apologized, I lied about having a boyfriend, oh and everyone wants to meet the mystery man. 

They say laughter always comes before insanity–ha, ha. All I wanted was my brother’s best friend…instead I’m sitting in prison. 

Let this be a lesson to you all…life rarely happens the way you want it to. 

Damn cookie.

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

"Because the little boy who had slain all my dragons when I was little- had grown into a man. And I loved him."

Milo is invited to her brother's wedding and she's really anxious about it. Mostly because she's going to face Colton again. Colton is her brother's best friend and her childhood crush. She tried to get over him after an incident a couple of years ago, thinking that she should stop pinning over him, that he would never see her in another way other than 'Jason's little sister'.

Another embarassing scene takes over during that weekend and she decides to claim that she's dating Max, who is in fact her best friend back at college. Max agrees to save her ass and comes over to escort her at the wedding. Things get really complicated, trying to save the groom from the evil bride's claws or from his sister's clumsiness that has goal to eventually send him to the grave or at the very finest to a hospital.

"Be. The. Doughnut."

Ah, this is most likely the case of 'This is not you, this is me.' I can tell that people could really enjoy this book. It's meant to be funny with jokes and incidents that could probably cause someone to giggle or laugh. However, this was not the case with me. I thought that the author tried too hard, that it was a bad parody of events, with poor Jason getting hit repeatedly and men getting assaulted by a bunch of women or even worse the Grandma.. Was this really necessary? I cringed while reading those scenes. Poor poor guy.

I'm sorry but I thought that this book wasn't for me. Too immature and childish, I didn't feel the humour and I was repulsed by the sexual assault that was supposed to be funny. If it was written about women getting sexual assault it wouldn't be so funny, right? So, why when it's about men it's supposed to be? Honestly I don't get it, but maybe I just missed the mark. Oh well.

What I liked was the dragon slaying childhood memories, Max was also my favorite character by far and that's why I will probably be reading his book! The teasing last chapter has me intrigued.

ARC provided via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

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